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However, just to get things started, here is a random selection containing eight of my pithy personal parenting observations. I say 'personal' - by that I mean 'universal', of course.
1. When a toddler is eating dinner it is best to leave them to their own devices as much as possible. It causes you less distress and doesn't increase the resultant chaos all that much.
2. When a child explains that they have put their clothes into the laundry basket "because they were dirty", this actually means that they couldn't be bothered to fold the clothes up and put them back in the drawer.
3. The amount of strength that children have when getting toys out of the toy cupboard is directly proportional to the amount of strength they claim to lack when asked to put them away again.
4. My children have fingers. They have been given a fork to use but this wasn't part of the original design. Fingers were. They choose to use the original.
5. Despite much effort and a great deal of thought, I haven't yet found a simpler way to say, "no!"
6. If a father's word was law, my children would spend most of their time behind bars.
7. It is remarkable how a child who refused to eat their dinner at 5pm suddenly becomes ravenously hungry when told, one hour later, that it is time for bed.
8. Our family's 'Book of Rules' states that the parents have absolute authority and control. What a pity that my children can't read it yet.